Many people feel discouraged when they start trauma therapy and realize how hard and painful it can be. Sometimes, you might even feel more exhausted and overwhelmed when you first start than you did before. But that doesn't mean therapy is actually making you "worse."
There are valid reasons for how you feel. But it's possible to heal from trauma. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and often with trauma therapy, the only way out is through. One of the biggest risks of trauma therapy is the risk of dropping out of treatment. It takes so much courage, but most trauma survivors who get through the process find peace and healing on the other side.
Here are 4 specific reasons why trauma therapy is so difficult, and our take on why it's still worth it.
1. You need to revisit traumatic memories
Trauma therapy requires you to revisit painful traumatic memories. This is true whether you're doing psychotherapy (talk therapy) or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR).
You may leave some sessions feeling lighter or more refreshed. But you might leave other sessions feeling exhausted. Therapy may bring feelings and memories up that you hadn't thought about in years. After very intense or painful sessions, you might have flashbacks or nightmares. At first, it might even feel like you're getting worse, not better.
But the key difference is that now, you've learned new skills to be able to cope with these memories. You're not truly getting worse --- you're just learning to confront the past instead of burying it. Good therapists will never force you to revisit trauma until you've spent enough time together strengthening your resilience. Maintaining your psychological safety is an essential part of treatment.
2. Your brain is trying to protect you
Through dealing with trauma and its effects, your brain has created different ways to protect you from the intense emotional distress. Often, that looks like avoidance --- like going numb or dissociation. It might mean drinking or using other substances to drown out painful memories.
Pushing things down may have kept you safe for a long time. At the time, your brain may not have had the safety or support it needed to process what happened. These coping mechanisms helped you survive by keeping the pain at a distance.
The problem is that your brain stays in fight-or-flight mode and continues using these coping mechanisms even when they're no longer serving you. Talking or even thinking about the trauma can feel unsafe because it goes against the protective system your brain created. Learning healthier ways to cope takes time and repeated experiences of safety, and that's what therapy helps you build.
3. Trauma can get stuck in the brain and body
Part of why trauma is so hard to heal from is that the memories --- along with the emotions and thinking patterns that we developed due to what happened --- get stuck in your body.
Under "normal" circumstances, your brain files memories in a certain way. Your hippocampus helps give memories a time and place. Your amygdala sounds the alarm when it detects danger.
But with trauma, your brain is under so much strain that it isn’t able to work like it’s designed to. Your nervous system gets stuck in fight-or-flight mode. Because of the trauma, your brain’s alarm system becomes highly activated, and could start going off even when you're safe. The systems that organize memory may not work as effectively, which is why you might have a hard time recalling details.
Because of this, traumatic memories can return with vivid sensations and intense emotions. The danger can feel like it’s happening again right now, not like something from the past. Your nervous system may also react strongly to triggers before you consciously understand what happened.
This is why non-talk therapies like EMDR can often be helpful for trauma recovery. It can help you access the effects of trauma that have been buried or stuck.
4. Your therapist may not be the right fit
Because of these reasons, trauma therapy is often a painful process, especially at first, even if you're working with the best trauma-informed therapist. The fact that these things are coming up for you doesn't mean that anything is necessarily "wrong."
But in some rare cases, it's possible that your therapist isn't the right fit for you. That doesn't necessarily mean that they did anything wrong, and it definitely doesn't mean you did anything wrong. But if you don't have a trusting relationship with your therapist, it can be hard to feel safe enough to do the work.
There are also some red flags to look for in trauma therapists. Your therapist should never rush you to process memories or force you to talk about things you're uncomfortable with. Be cautious if a therapist dismisses your concerns or reacts defensively when you set boundaries.
They should also avoid pathologizing normal trauma responses as a "mental health problem." They should be able to explain the specific type of therapy they’re using and how they’ll protect your emotional safety throughout the process.
Does trauma therapy actually work? Is it worth it?
Yes, trauma therapy is hard. But most people who've experienced trauma find that it's worth it, even when the healing journey includes ups and downs. Research has verified that trauma therapy is effective.
But it's only helpful if your therapist has special training and expertise in trauma-informed therapy. Trauma healing is about much more than just talking about your memories. In fact, "just talking" without any structure or plan for safety can retraumatize you.
A trained trauma therapist brings structure and a treatment plan to these conversations. They monitor how activated you’re becoming and slow the process down when needed. That's why trauma therapy is often so important. It's not the same as talking about it with a friend.
But not everyone is a good candidate. Trauma therapy may not be right for you if:
- You’re still living with ongoing abuse or danger. A therapist can support you, but safety planning may need to come before direct trauma processing. You might focus on the psychoeducation or coping parts of treatment instead of revisiting memories.
- You’re in an acute mental health crisis or at immediate risk of harming yourself. Treatment may need to focus first on helping you become safer and more stable.
- Substance use or severe dissociation makes it difficult to remain present during sessions.
- You don’t feel ready or are being pressured by someone else. You have the right to decide when and how you talk about your trauma.
Find an EMDR therapist in Phoenix & Glendale, AZ
At Thrive Therapy, our trauma-informed therapists understand how hard trauma therapy can feel. We will move at a pace that feels safe for you so that you can continue moving through the process to come out on the other side. We’ll take time to build trust and help you develop the skills to cope before asking you to process painful memories.
We offer EMDR therapy in Phoenix and Glendale, Arizona, as well as online trauma therapy across Arizona.
Get in touch with our team to learn more and find out if EMDR could be a good fit for you.
Colter is a licensed psychotherapist and the owner and Executive Director of Thrive Therapy. He specializes in the treatment of anxiety, OCD, identity issues, and more.
